New year, new strategies. I’ve been thinking of changing some of the ways we respond to people enquiring about staying with us. Understandably people want to know what they’re getting when they come, not some wish-washy description which means they’re booking into something unknown, into something which frankly might not be worth the money.

This year’s conversations might go like this:

‘You want to know whether you’ll be able to see the northern lights when you come, between the 18th and 21st February? Let me see – I’ll look it up for you….

‘Ah. Here it is. 18th February, no northern lights at all, that’s a pity. Now let’s see – ah – but on the 19th and 20th February there will be northern lights! That’s lucky isn’t it? What time were you wanting to see them? Did you have a preference?

‘After 8pm? That might be possible on the 19th, but it looks like on the 20th they’ll only be appearing around 6pm, sorry about that. Could you possibly re-schedule your restaurant trip so you could go out to look for them a bit earlier?

‘No? Ok, it’ll have to be the 19th then. Now, what kind of northern lights did you want to see? Pink or green?

‘Pink, oh. Sorry, only greenish ones forecast. But a little bit of yellow on the 20th, how would that be?

‘Green and yellow it is then. And would that be curtains, you were wanting, or wavy lines?

‘Curtains, swishing sideways. Yes, I think we can do curtains on the 19th. No, hang on – damn – these are curtains with strong vertical movements, and you wanted sideways swishing, blast.

‘…..It’s quite nice, though, the vertical. Quite popular these days. I think you might like it. What do you think – would vertical curtains be ok for you?

‘You wanted them with the pink mixed in? I’d like to help you out but I really don’t think we can do that. I tell you what though – how about we throw in some shooting stars instead? I see there will be some around 8pm that night. Green curtains with a touch of yellow and strong vertical movement, and shooting stars – very tasteful.

‘Oh good, that’s fixed then. We look forward to seeing you on the 18th.’